Feminists Do It Better (blog entry 5)

"No doubt, there are serious consequences to sex. But if you're well informed and being responsible, what's the problem? We need to get beyond the politics, the religious guilt trips, and the moral tsk-tsking and start to remember that sex is a good thing. A great thing. Perhaps the best thing ever."

             Jessica Valenti's Feminists Do It Better does an excellent job at breaking the "abstinence only" viewpoint of sex for young women. Valenti writes about sex, different types of sex, your virginity, your "number" and masturbation, and in each area she mentions she explains how women need to be themselves when it comes to their sexuality. She believes everyone should have all the sex you want with whoever you want as long as it is what you want and that you are being safe. She makes an important point that not all sex is about procreation. Sex is about feeling good. "I have sex it's because it feels good, not because I'm gearing up to knit some booties," says Valenti, and this is what feminists are fighting for. "Feminism tells you it's okay to make decisions about your sexuality for yourself. Because when it comes down to it, what's more powerful and important than being able to do what you want with your body without fear of being shamed or punished?" Valenti writes about the abstinence programs used today in America and how 178 million dollars have been put into these such programs. And you want to know what this money is going towards? Telling kids that condoms cause cancer, or once you lose your virginity you are a used sucked-on lollipop. Do you really think that these ridiculous conclusions stop teenagers from having sex? No. And this is exactly what Valenti and all feminists are trying say. They are trying to rework this system on how teenagers are taught about sex. Abstinence only programs do not work, as Valenti wrote how 80 percent of such programs give out false information. Would you rather have teenagers be falsely informed or be having safe sex? This is what feminists are fighting for when it comes to women's sexuality. We want anyone to have the information and resources concerning safe sex instead of focusing on the sex-is-bad-don't-do-it crap that does not do anything but teach false facts about sex that you are not supposed to be having.

               Another important concept Valenti brings up besides educating on safe sex, is that sex is not a bad thing. Stop focusing on what this public double behavior of being "good" but looking "hot"and start focusing on what you want. Do not let anyone claim your virginity but you. Lose it when you want to. Do not buy into virginity ceremonies, rings, cards or anything that resemble that because "The one thing they all have in common is that girls' virginity and sexuality don't belong to them." Have sex with whoever you want to, just be safe. And masturbate. Help break the absolutely ridiculous "anti-erotic massager" laws that are in eight of our states. Women should be able to enjoy all types of sex, whether it is with another woman, or man, or through masturbation and this is why Jessica Valenti and many other feminists are talking and fighting out to support and finally conquer their sexuality.

Questions that I thought of while reading: 

Vibrators are seriously outlawed? Who writes these "laws"? Why is the 178 million dollars still going towards abstinence programs when they are proven to not work? Who comes up with the nonsense taught in these programs? Condoms cause cancer, and girls are a used sucked on lollipop once they lose their virginity? Seriously?

I found Valenti's piece strongly connected to the interview with Joani Blank. In the end both Valenti and Blank have one of the same goals: Women should be able to pleasure themselves without any questions made. Valenti writes from her young feminist standpoint and Joani Blank helped sell sex toys by founding "Good Vibrations" which allows young women to buy vibrators. The company has been open since 1977 and Blank sold the company to the workers years ago. Since then she has focused on social justice and sex positivity. Blank along with Valenti are strong supporters that sex for women should be pleasurable, not just about procreation.